10 Mother's Days

Mother's Day 2000: I was ignorant. I made sure I went to church so that when I called my mom later in the day, we could talk about it.

Mother's Day 2001: I was hopeful. We had decided to start a family. I went to church smiling at all of the mothers, just knowing I would be joining their club soon.

Mother's Day 2002: I was prayerful. We had put this in His hands. We made it through church.

Mother's Day 2003: I was angry. Why was every single woman in this church 8 months pregnant?

Mother's Day 2004: I had a plan. He would go to Iraq next year; I would go make a baby. We hoped God was on board with that plan because that was what we were going to do.

Mother's Day 2005: I was scared. God had agreed. When the mothers are honored, do you stand up in church when you're newly pregnant? No. No, my husband is in Iraq, it'll look funny.

Mother's Day 2006: I was exhausted. I had two five month old baby boys. It didn't even dawn on me that this was my first Mother's Day as a mother. We went to church because the nursery would take them for an hour and a half.

Mother's Day 2007: I was shocked. And I spent that morning in church trying to de-emphasize my six-months-pregnant-with-twins belly because I remembered wanting to whack those women back in 2003.

Mother's Day 2008: It was a repeat of 2006, I think. But I can't quite remember.

Mother's Day 2009: He had drill for National Guard. It rained. After breathing a sigh that no one threw up on the way to church, Alida puked as we pulled into the parking stall. The boys climbed around the van as I changed Alida into clean clothes because we've learned to pack them. My back was out of the car getting wet in the rain. Nicholas was trying to open the umbrella in the van. I drug everyone out into the rain and the boys insisted on holding the umbrella--at their level. So I held two girls' hands and shuffled horizontally and about three feet over the ground under the boys' umbrella. We stumbled and lost a shoe and the boys' pants were soaked and Elaine fell behind and got wet. And as we neared the door to the church, the man opening it remarked that he wished he had his camera because that was the most wonderful Mother's Day picture he could imagine.

So mom I just wanted you to know. I get it now. Thanks.