Homework

That is a dog. Not a cat.

I know this because this is a cat.

A dog and a cat.

 

And last Saturday morning Elaine brought me a three ring binder and a full cup of coffee.  It is her cat book and her arguments for adding another family member.

I quickly pointed out that she had some more research to do: how to make it so the dog doesn't eat the cat....

State Capitals East of the Mississippi...

 

I gave Patric the quiz:

 

Me: "Delaware."

Him: "Delaware.  No one lives in Delaware.  There is no capital."

 

Me: "Michigan"

Him: "Michigan.  (re-stating the question clearly a delay tactic).  That's Traverse City.

Me: "Patric, we lived in Michigan.  We camped in Traverse City; that is not the  capital."

 

Me: "Maryland"

Him: "Maryland.  Maryland?  The biggest city there is The Village.  But I think the British burned it down."

 

Me: (After I stopped laughing) "Rhode Island"

Him: "Rhode Island.  Rhode Island.  Rhode Island."

Me: "It was on the side of the U-Haul we saw the other day.  We laughed at the art."

Him: "Rhode Island.  Rhode Island.... (blank stare)"

 

Me: "Vermont"

Him: "Same thing, no one lives there. There can't be a capital. What on earth did you say to these people when they said they didn't need to learn this?!"

 

Me: "Sometimes a quiz is not about the content; sometimes a quiz is about your ability to apply yourself."

 

Once again, F for the parents on grade school content.

A Little PVC Pipe and Colored Duck Tape

In addition to paper shotguns, you can make some pretty neat blow guns--here we are shooting marshmallows around the house.

 

But then you figure out that you can make darts out of post-it notes, insert a nail, and add a touch of glue to make it all work together.  Then we moved outside for trials with a few mommy rules in place.

 

You Tube, you can teach us anything.

Party hats for forming darts doubling as a double party watching hat, purse to hold your ammunition and Elaine touch of brilliance.

 

Science Fair research on Aerodynamics, here we go.

Industrious

That is a double barreled shotgun, made of paper with a functioning trigger that shoots rubber bands.

 

You can really find anything on YouTube.

A little Kitchen Science

Wherein, we discovered that Apple Cider Vinegar (which is what was on hand) does not work as well as regular vinegar (which is what I bought) for volcano action. 

 

OR, it is that the apple cider vinegar had been in the cupboard past its usefulness, since I think we may have moved from Houston with that particular bottle.

Double Take

"Well, they seem quite optimistic," Patric says as we both double take at the mantle.

 

The mantle where the children have replaced their stockings (the size of mom and dad's now seemingly smallish ones there), for these that they had found earlier, used for a potato sack race, and then snuck up there very quietly.  I still haven't found the four that were replaced.

The Great Theological Debate

Nicholas: God made that race car.
Ben: Oh, here we go again. God did not make that race car. He made the imagination in the people to build the race car.
Nicholas: Yeah, but he also made the materials that make the race car. He made everything.
Ben: No! Men made that race car.
And on, and on, and on.

Heaving a Heavy Sigh

Seemingly normal wall.

Excep,t see that spot directly between the thermostat and the outlet?

Too small?

Let me zoom in.

And I'll show you a Stuber game--it's called Number Search.

Yes, Nicholas wrote numbers randomly all over the walls of my house, then sent the others out to find them in order.



Well I Just Wanted To Ask A Question He Couldn't Answer

Over lunch with one of Patric's Army friends named Nicholas (Nick 2), we listened to this with our kid (Nick 1):

Nick 2, Patric's friend thinking he had this all under control: "Well Nicholas, I know everything.  Go ahead--ask me anything, and I'll tell you the answer."

Nick 1: "Well, can you tell me how you ever get to see heaven without the help of God or Jesus?"

Nick 2 (and everyone else at the table): (silence).

Math

Spontaneous by the ladies.

And mostly in mirror-speak.

This from their time spent playing office.

In Our Midst

It was with great interest that I watched Nicholas pretend to punch in the code that he can barely reach to the daycare classrooms  the other day.  When the door opened, I figured he had caught one of the moments that the thing had not hooked all the way closed.

They rushed in.

Then, when he did it again the next day, I asked.

"Nicholas, how do you know the code?"

"I watch.  I'm like a spy."

But of course.

We Will Laugh, Some Day

As I tried to figure out how to use our printer/scanner to sign and send a new house document last night, Benjamin stood close dismantling my every effort by pushing every button on the thing. Elaine was in her room crying crocodile tears, naked because she couldn't figure out how to put on the Tinker Bell dress. Downstairs, and thankfully mostly out of earshot, I heard the wails of Alida as she fought with Nicholas. They would have to wait.

I called Patric, cell phone in one hand, beating Ben back from the computer with the other. In the middle of my fussing, I noticed out the window that two police cars with lights were racing down our street. No. They were stopping in front of our house. I was relaying this all to Patric when I realized that they were very seriously assessing our yard. No. They were very seriously approaching our front door.

Bother.

I hung up and went downstairs. Nicholas beat me to the front door from out of nowhere, and I shoved him behind me to see one officer standing back and ready. Then this exchange.

"There was a 911 call from this house with screaming in the background."
Another officer made his presence known by coming out from behind a tree.
I looked down, "Nicho.."
Nicholas had already hid his face in my leg and started clinging.
"Please come in."
"Who's in the house, ma'am?"
"Me and four children." (What great grammar lady, way to impress them.)
Then two more officers appeared. I opened the door wide.
One disappeared to the back of the downstairs immediately. The most gigantic, seven-foot one stood and took up our entire living room.
It crossed my mind very briefly to ask if he was in the market to buy a house, and then another asked me who was upstairs.
"My girl and my boy."
Up he went.
Officer four went to the garage.
"Nicholas? Did you call 911?"
"Yes." Barely audible.
"I'm so sorry. They have been learning about 911 at school..."

And so that is how my non-actress Alida set to screaming at Nicholas for not letting her have the phone at just the moment that he hit send on his 9-1-1 call.

Signs of Things to Come

Tucked away playing hand-held video games.

Coffee
(pretending with an empty cup at least for now, although Alida actually likes it.)



e-Reader

Seriously tucked away playing hand-held video games.

The phone.

What Time is it?

"Nicholas?"
"I'm making a clock mom."
"Oh."
"What comes after 12?"
"Um, 1."
(scoffing) "No, it doesn't."
"Yes, on a clock it does. (drawing a picture) See here is 6: wake up time; 7: school time; 8: breakfast time; 9: school work time; 10: play time; 11: clean up time; 12: lunchtime; 1: nap time; 2: play time; 3: outside time; 4: daddy and I pick you up time; 5: dinner time; 6: clean up and bath time; 7: Batman time; 8: bed time; 9, 10, 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 sleep time. And then it starts again."
"But what comes after 12 mom?"
Breezing through the kitchen comes dad: "Well, actually Susan, in military time it is 13..."
"See mom!"
"Really? You really want your children to be mocked by their classmates?"
"What?
(Mock pre-schooler voice) "Well, ACTUALLY, in the military it's Fifteen-hundred right now, which is play outside time..."
"What? What's wrong with that?"
"Mom! What.Comes.After.12?"
"1."
"NO, it doesn't!"
"Well, that's because you put all your numbers in a quarter of the clock. You have to spread them around, and you'll see that 1 comes after 12." (pointing to the to-scale picture)
"Mom. Just tell me what comes after 12."
"13, Nicholas. 13 Comes after 12."

My Intellectuals

Smart Observation:

When Alida bonked her head on her granddad's swing at Easter, and granddad knew she was just fine. They had the following conversation:

Grandad: "Alida. Don't hurt the swing."

(considering)

Alida: "That's not funny grandpa."

Smart Alec

"No mommy, I'm in charge."

Smarty Pants:

"My booty is on your lap mommy!"


Smart
"When daddy is here there are 6 of us. But he isn't here, so that makes 5 mommy. Right?"