Kid 4: Alida

 Alida my dear.

Christmas dress and Doritto covered fingers taking in the scene.

 When you got hung up on whether you would take this leap or not, Ben showed you the way.

But when you jumped girl, that was all you. 

It took my breath away--partially fear for you and partially awe.

 And then you skipped off like it was nothing.

You are fierce and fearless.  And yet, you are the most at peace child I have.  At home in the company of others or not, you seem to self-balance your chaotic life.  This will serve you well to be able to blend in when you need to and stand out when desired. 

I cannot wait to watch it all unfold.

Kid 3: Elaine

 Elaine

Always close.

 She knew she was supposed to play on the rocks in the water.

You could tell she knew, she just didn't really want to get wet, or fall in, or be very far away.

 So she found a spot close by with lots of opportunity to hold on in the back and in the front.

And space to pause and take a break before the next step.

We had a frank talk this morning that you don't get to smile and ignore.  You believe at the moment that the rules don't apply to you really.  Do you know that  you are the only one that comes home from school with notes from the teacher?  You like to talk too much I hear, and you are developing a bit of a tendency to ignore what's being asked of you. 

I like to think of it as my training for having teenagers.  And I like to think that you and I will teach each other a lot along the way.



Kid 2: Benjamin

 Ben--still eating his sister's lunch for her after I fussed that she had asked for a full sandwhich and not ate it.

He takes me seriously.  He loves to love.  And, yet he is all boy.

 He leads.

Here he stopped Alida and told her to wait while he took the big jump first.

When she got stuck there on that big rock, he came over and asked me how we were going to help her.

When I told him to teach her how, he turned and ran back.

 And he talked her through it.

And when the thunder rolled, and I told him it was time to go, he agreed and ran for the car.

You will charm son, and I will be one of them. 

Kid 1: Nicholas

 We five went to the park over the weekend.

Kid number 1, was off and on the rocks before the rest of us even arrived.

 Independent to a fault, he was always moving or out of picture range.

He assesses, he moves, he looks forward, and he takes in a place all in one motion it seems.

This was right before he dunked himself waist-high in the water.

He was delighted to have discovered how deep the water was. 

When Nicholas and I talk, we talk about how it is okay that we get frustrated with each other because we're so very different.  We talk about why I get so frustrated with his energy and his will because it seems to come at the price of taking in a whole picture or whole group at times.  We are opposite in this way--he goes swiftly, and I tend to hang back and watch. 

Nicholas is adventure, and yet he is capable of careful, focused attention when his heart is there.

He is willful, and I cannot wait to see where this life leads.

The Return

 Of Batgirl.

A bit more domesticated and baking bread.

Mississippi Headwaters

 Our annual trek to the beginning of the Mississippi.

 Where they never wanted to leave.

And waded in further and further until we found them around a bend at a bridge and hauled them out.

And on the way back, folks coming and going, glancing at the Stuber mess of wet and so many people, we get the following:

Me: "Alida, keep up girl."

Alida: "I am mommy.  Don't worry, I can still see you.  And anyway, I can smell your blood!"

I thought one of the women in a family walking the other way was going to fall off the trail laughing  so hard.

Elaine

Turns out, I didn't need to cut their hair different lengths to tell them apart.

We know Elaine by the high barrette count these days. 

Seven or more is Elaine.

The Economist

Me: "Your Uncle Brian has a job where he counts money.  That's his job!  He's an accountant."

Nicholas: "What?!  How can that be?!!!!  I do that at home for fun!"

He tells me now he's saving for college and to buy his own home.

The Stuber Family Turkey Project

Ben's assignment: disguise his turkey with his family (I guess to save him from becoming a feast).

Everyone pitched in, and while I admittedly generally feel annoyed by this kind of stuff wriggling its way into our evenings, this one was fun. They all had fun with their different tasks and were really proud to take it in to preschool the next day.

When Ben marched in the next morning, the first worker we met asked him about his turkey, and he started to describe everything we had done. And then Nicholas jumped in more loudly and more quickly to finish. Ben automatically shut down and let his brother take over.

Then Laura asked Nicholas to politely be quiet and let his brother finish.
Nicholas stood like a cartoon character ready to burst with the need to provide the presentation as Ben stepped-up and finished what he was saying with a smile and excitement that we rarely get to see.

I am SO glad they are in different classrooms in preschool, and I hope it continues on through all of their school days. No, I will insist it continues through all of their school days.

Alida

Last night before bed, you and I played Transformers together for half an hour.

You, my dear, are at home within and outside this loud family of ours.

I love it when I'm making dinner and you run through the kitchen on a mission, not looking up. About a minute later you'll run back through, perhaps flashing me a smile. With no explanation, you'll run back a minute later. I'll find you when dinner is ready, playing a game with just yourself somewhere.

You have been obsessed with chocolate milk ever since we started giving it to you in the name of weight gain. You will refuse certain kinds and are particular.

You love to play outside, by yourself, with everyone, making up a game with Elaine--doesn't matter as long as it's outside.

You nearly wrote your whole name last night.

Your laughter is from within and infectious.

You are a bright spot in our days.

Elaine

I have a series of about 20 pictures trying to get your attention, then trying to get you to smile for me.

You would hide when you could crawl; you stay behind the camera now.

You are dainty. More dainty than I think I am prepared for.

You hate to be a mess to the point of melting down.

You are the one that will not sleep now.

You will always wear a dress given the option.

You tell on yourself. It's cute. Last night you started chattering and the story was how good you were and how bad your friend Jayce was. Then you started to tell me about your descent on the good apple/bad apple chart. When I looked at you sternly, you laughed.

You go with the flow and join in when you want and don't when you're not in the mood, which is just as often.

Your technical skills are amazing. When my phone started to inexplicably play music in my purse the other day, I threw up my hands and gave it to you to shut off. And you did.

You're beginning to get over the 2's now, and it's fun girl.

Nicholas

Does everything in his own way.

Finishes his homework in about half a second every night.

Takes everything apart; doesn't always get it back together.

Is turning out to be our artist.

Asks questions to the point of either pounding your head on the table or going to google to find the answer.

Stays at the table to finish his dinner every night as long as he can have a second helping of plain broccoli.

Is an overachiever at 4.

Has already written a letter to Santa Claus.

Hoards everything in the house, actually wants nothing.

Talks NONSTOP and LOUD.

Loves to make scrambled eggs with me having overcome his previous allergy to them.

Keeps us on task.

Is amazing.

Alida

Seemingly no fear. She's always been this way. It comes across as innate confidence that is stunning.

Fiercely independent in most ways.

During dinner she'll often get up from her chair and come give me a hug and say "thank you" even though she hardly eats anything.

Capable of just hanging out alone, which is a hard skill to learn in our house. She'll often wander outside and play alone for half an hour or more just picking grass or practicing swinging. Catch her eye through the window and she'll smile or stick out her tongue and then she's on her way.

I love this girl.

Alida

Some time please. Please just smile pretty and move on. Why do you always have to go blank or stick out your tongue when you see the camera?

Mommy, Can you go help my sisters?

I love this for Benjamin.

Many nights he asks if I will turn the light on upstairs when we get back from our day. He does it pretty quietly; always politely; and, soon after we walk in the door.

And then he disappears to go organize his toys for battle. In this case it was the tanks vs. the Ironmen with the animals as spectators. He'll call down for me to come see. And then I go up and exclaim how wonderful his battlefield is, and we talk about it for a few minutes. Then he'll ask me to go help his sisters, which is his way of politely telling me to go away. And I go away, and Ben gets some time alone. I love that for him.

The Saturday Outing: Mississippi

Saturday morning it was raining at home, but our friends to the South didn't have any. So it was an even better excuse to load up and go visit a rural area with plenty of space to run and play with new friends.

And we did a little work for them. Nicholas got these all the way back to the house without dropping either.

But this was the favorite toy by far.

And in the middle of me with my back turned droning on and on about how Benjamin needs to learn that we aren't going to intervene every time he needs/wants something--as in his turn with the car--he simply dumped Nicholas over on his side to let him know it was now his turn. So um, yeah. You need to stand up for yourself Ben, but let's channel that a little differently next time.

And the fresh air tuckered us out and everyone was asleep within about a rural block of leaving late in the afternoon. And then we all went straight to the bath when we got home.

What Are You Doing?

Whatever the size he has to fill it to capacity with what he considers his toys. These back packs were on a $2.50 clearance the other day, and I couldn't resist giving him the challenge of walking around with that thing full of toys.

Here he got the shopping cart so full of toys that he had to use the girls' popper to hold up the basket to keep it from crashing to the floor. An invention he came up with himself.

Another back pack. A favorite stashing place. Other stashing places: the drawers in his room, which everyone know to stay out of. The girls will look up at me like they're in trouble if I run across them digging in those drawers. There are play purses--three to be exact--that are stuffed to the gills. The storage container in the bathroom that serves as a stool as well is currently holding his airplane jacket. The airplane jacket pockets are stuffed full of toys. And on and on. He ran up on me in my closet last night and found the candy that I had confiscated. After pausing, he looked at me seriously and said, "That goes in my pack pack." No, he doesn't really want to eat it, just hoard it. If he is looking for a toy, we start going through all of the different bags in the house until he remembers which one holds the treasure.

The question: What are you doing Nicholas?

"Keeping it safe mommy."

Of course.

Strangely, I understand. I do the same with my things.

It Is Time

The prison-like setting of their room was softened a bit with the addition of a book shelf and the return of the nightstand over the weekend. On the other hand, it has accentuated the fact that they sleep on mattresses on the floor. The hunt for twin beds will begin soon. We've deemed them ready.

Nicholas automatically started about the business of filling each of those nightstand drawers with every single toy he could find. When he couldn't get the girls' baby doll shoved in there to go "night-night" he nearly had a break down. Then he tossed her aside and went on the hunt for his mini-Ironmen. Once complete, he stood sentinel at the drawer turning away any would-be pillagers. I think we'll hunt out a toy box for the boy while we're at it.

The Year In Review: Alida's 2008

You were working on sitting up at the beginning of the year. It didn't take you too long to reveal your plan.

You were lunge-crawling in no time in order to get to the toys with small parts and chew on them.

And then crawling made you a happy girl.

Until you revealed that you had plans to take over the house.

You were the first baby to dump herself in the pool during the split second that no adult was watching.

Sitting down on the boat was such a struggle that we finally found it safer to let you stand there than thrash around fighting us to get you to sit down.

And then just like that you were walking.

And you decided to make the leap to climbing the playground equipment quickly.

One of your latest crazes is jumping off of things toward an adult, whether that adult is aware or not. Remember when we left that hotel room and it's big step leading to the in-room jacuzzi girl? That was in no small part because you decided to leap into my lap while I was unaware that you were leaping.

Find the boys; find Alida.

You mastered going down the stairs on your belly before I could even think to teach you. Now you are attempting to go face first girl.

And Christmas morning just wouldn't be Christmas morning without you sitting on the edge calmly pushing your limits girl.

Off we go careening into the new year girl. Can't wait to see if it is you or Nicholas that lands us in the emergency room first.